The Unending Saga Of Percival The Pig

Sally

A pause. It may be worthwhile to pause, and to understand a little bit about Sally.

Most of the ladies on The Exotic Island loved little trinkets, tea parties, bits of jewellry, and all sorts of things that ladies love to get from the gentlemen, like chocolates, chocolate roses, wine, champagne, and roses. Sally was no different. While she did not know it at the time, there was one thing that set her apart from all the other ladies of The Exotic Island. This was a certain tenacity of character, a certain resourcefulness, and perhaps a certain strain of adventure. 

However, at this point, she was, to all extents and purposes, like any other lady pig on The Island. 

What she shared with Dragor, was popularity amongst her classmates, and a very successful career in school and college. In all else, they were different. Sally came from a normal, middle class background, and she started a normal career when she left college. She did well at work, got a few promotions, without arousing any jealousy, and had a happy, carefree life. 

Sally loved to party and dance. Dancing was not one of her strengths, but what did it matter? She danced the night away, and she danced with abandon. It was, on one of these nights, that she met Thyme. In the beginning, she was vastly amused by him, and his stories of his homeland. She laughed uproariously when he told her about how Percival crashed into him at the wedding, and sent him rolling down the steps. Closing her eyes, she pictured him with three red lines on his rump, and she laughed till the tears rolled down her cheeks. 

But then, she started to like him, and then she met him again. And again. And again. She felt something stirring inside her. To shake it off, one evening, she made an excuse that she was busy. The next evening she went out with friends. And, then with an old boyfriend. Yet, being away from him was not fun either.

So, on the night of the storm, when he flung his arms around her, and kissed her, she kissed him back. When he asked her to marry him, she said yes.

Then, of course, things turned, and Sally found herself intrigued by Basil's outburst. The next morning, when Percival came trundling along to tell them the story, she found herself thinking very hard indeed.

When Basil and Percival chattered on aimlessly, about trying to get Bessie back, her mind started to race...

The Morning After

Percival awoke the next morning, feeling cold and clammy. Who would'nt, after spending the night in a tub? He popped out of the tub, and ran into the shower. With the water turned on to the maximum heat, he once again started to feel much better, with the exception of a very heavy head.

A heavy breakfast followed, follwed by a much needed cup of coffee. And then, Percival was ready to face the world. He walked down to Basil's hotel, and found him sitting at a cafe nearby, in the warm sunshine, talking animatedly to Thyme, who was accompanied by a most uncommonly pretty pig!!

Thyme, if you recall, had often declined Basil's invitations to go searching for Bessie. He would spend his evenings, flirting with the pigs on The Exotic Island. He met one, then another, then another and yet another. He was beginning to feel like quite the Island Playboy, when he met an uncommonly pretty pig. She was pretty, she was smart. So, Thyme met her again. And again, and again...

One evening when Thyme went to meet Sally (that was her name), she told him she was busy. Thyme, rattled, return to his room, to spend an evening fidgeting.

The next day, she was out with friends. Thyme spent the evening chewing his bedcover.

The third evening, she was out with a friend. Thyme spent the evening smashing things.

On the fourth evening, she had dinner with him again. Thyme positively skipped all the way to the restaurant. On the way back, the rain started down, and Thyme lay his jacket in the puddles to help her avoid getting her feet wet.

Sally kissed him on the cheek. He danced. He kissed her hand. Then her wrist.

She giggled and kissed his cheek again. He kissed her nose. Then, without warning, he flung his arms around her, and kissed her on the mouth. She kissed him back.

He asked her to marry him. She accepted, but said that she would like to be his companion first.

Oh joy of joys. Oh, beautiful rain!! Oh, Divine Puddles.

He skipped again, slipped and landed with a splash in one of the puddles. Sally giggled, but Thyme did not care. He skipped and danced all the way back to his hotel, falling into puddles, crashing into lamp posts along the way. All in all, he behaved like a complete ass. However, what did it matter to him. Sally was his!!

In the hotel, she showered, and changed into Thyme's clothes, which were much too big for her. Life was blissful indeed!!

They came down to the bar, to find a pensive and growling Basil. Slowly, they prised the events of the evening from him, and agreed to meet again the next morning.

The next morning they sat down in the cafe, ordered their coffee when Percival came trudging along...

Life In A Tub...

Percival lay back in the warm, soapy water that filled the tub, and slowly started to relax. He had a glass of wine at his elbow, with the bottle at arm's reach. This was not very smart, as he had already consumed two large glasses of rum in record speed.

He soon started to feel light. Very light. And then, his head started to feel heavy. Very heavy. Before he knew it, he was snoring, and slowly his body started to slide down in the tub. He was enveloped in the warm, soapy water, and his entire body relaxed.

Oh, blissful life!! Oh, lovely water!!!

He may have stayed there in that position for a very long time, but for the fact that his nose slid under the surface of the water, and he awoke with a start. He coughed and snorted, and sat upright in a flash. After a short sp of wine, he relaxed again, and started to ponder over life's great mysteries.

Percival's mind ranged far and wide. It went back to his life on The Hill, and the wonderful time he had had with Bessie, and then he started to feel very sorry for himself indeed.

Two very large, very salty blobs fell into the water, and he was crying with self-pity.

"Why me?", he cried. "Why, oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why? What harm have I ever done anyone? I had such a wonderful life. Oh, what wonderful mornings at home. What Jean-Claude's wonderful meals (Jean-Claude was his chef). I will never, never, never taste Jean-Claude's wonderful cooking again"

"Why, why, why?", he blubbered.

"And, Bessie and I had everything planned out (Jean-Claude seems to have come before Bessie!!). Wonderful babies we would have. The two babies would play a our feet in the garden, in summer. By the fireside in winter. All gone forever. All because of that.... That... That... That Wretch!%^@*&^"

Percival suddenly realised he did not know the name of The Wretch (Dragor), who had snatched Bessie away from him.

The wine had now gone to his head, and he stood up in the middle of the tub in a rage. He shook his fist in the air, and announced to the rubber ducks in the water.

" I will get Bessie back,and revenge myself on The Wretch".

He struck a heroic pose in the tub, and fell with a splash back in the tub.

Percival started to cry again, feeling totally stupid and weak. He would never see Bessie again.

Gradually, his thoughts moved into a more positive vein, as he recalled how he had won Bessie, and how he had married her.

"Why, I am made of sterner stuff than I imagined. I am not so weak after all. If I could win Bessie earlier, I can win her back again. If I could conquer myself, and my love of luxury (not true), surely I can conquer fear in the future. I can go through dangers, and win Bessie back".

He soon realised that fear itself is not so bad. Fear of fear is what paralises us. He soon pondered the deep mysteries of life, what it means, and what he wanted to be.

A strong pig, who enjoyed luxury, but not be bound by it? Who could brave dangers and conquer fear?

Or, a pig who could not live without luxury?

No, no, not the latter.

He drank more wine, and yet more wine, and soon felt much better indeed. He realised that he would need to work with Basil to get Bessie back again, and that there would be dangers ahead. But, he was more than equal to the task, he felt.

He drank yet more wine, and soon the wine got the better of him. He slid again, and was soon snoring in the warm, soapy water....

Basil & Percival At The Black Pub

Percival was left standing in the centre of The Black Pub, surrounded by the creatures that inhabit the place.

For a moment, there was stunned silence, and then, one by one, the cruel and nasty creatures started to move towards Percival. They had evil intent in their eyes. The stench of evil mixed with fear, was in the air, as the Black Pub became heavy with the aura of menace.

"Oooh, his watch really looks very nice. It will fetch a nice price", said one.

"What about his clothes? D'yer think they will fit me?", whispered another

"What does he have in his pockets, then? Money? Oh yeah, lots of it", sneered a voice

Percival was stunned. His mind had left him, and he stood there as one, paralyzed. He was pale, and barely managed a stutter. This made the other animals jeer even more loudly, whooping with anticipation.

Just as the first hand touched Percival's watch, there was a loud crash and the harsh light that was shining on Percival shattered, and there was a rain of glass that fell on the animals surrounding Percival. Shocked, no one moved for a moment. Then a pig squealed, as a glass hit and cut his ear. A huge dog like animal roared with pain as a bottle hit him on the nose, and cut him deeply. They turned and saw Basil standing on the bar table, flinging bottles and glasses at all the creatures.  The bar man was lying unconscious on the floor, knocked out by a chair that Basil had brought down heavily on his head.

They snarled with rage, and moved towards Basil. Percival, thankfully for both of them, momentarily recovered his senses, and charged. At this point, he was behind some of the animals, who had turned their attention to Basil, and his bulk pushed them forward, towards the bar table. A three eyed creatures, possibly a cousin of Threyd, was pushed into the bar table. His ribs were crushed against the bar table, as he screamed with agony. 

The crowd pushed Percival back, and he stumbled. He stepped on toes, hands, knees, and yowls of pain rent the air.

"Oy!!@#$*&"

"Ouch"

"Yayayay.."

"Aieee%^$@)*&^"

Percival fell on a creature with the body of a dog, and the face of a pig, who screamed. 

Suddenly, Percival and Basil saw that the door of The Black Pub was open. Basil caught Percival's arm and dragged him out. They slammed the door shut, and bolted it from the outside, ignoring the screams of rage that came from inside. 

Percival stumbled outside, and suddenly sat down with a thump in a puddle of water. His breath came in short bursts.

Basil looked down at him, with irritation and contempt, and spat out "Where's Bessie?"

"G..g..g.. gone.....S...s...ssss....smoke", was all that Percival could stutter. 

"Come along then. Let's go to my hotel".

Percival followed obediently, and soon was at Basil's hotel, gulping down two glasses of rum. Soon, he calmed down, and slowly told Basil what had happened. Basil absorbed it. "We have to work together", was all he said. 

Percival soon became aware of the damp patch on the seat of his trousers. He needed to get back to his hotel, to calm his jangling nerves, and to get into new, dry clothes. With a promise to return the next day, he left. He soon reached his hotel room, which seemed very quiet and very big. He turned on the bath, and was soon soaking himself in the warm, soapy waters

Poof!!

Whiny voice:     "Lookie 'ere, what have we here?"

Sneering voice: "Ai'nt she pretty?"

Leering voice: " How did you bring such a pretty lady to this wonderful place?"

All around Percival, were the very strange, very nasty creatures of The Black Pub. Crowding around him and Bessie, was the most frightful sight he had ever seen in his life. 

Sharp teeth, dirty long fingernails, tattooed arms, glinting eyes, matted hair was all that he could see. Foul smelling breath, awful body odour was all around him, and his world seemed very bleak indeed. 

"Why on earth did I leave my comfortable life on The Hill?", asked Percival to himself. He was shivering. His heart was pounding, and he wished he could whizz away back home. 

"This is not the adventure we were supposed to have", asked Bessie to herself, in absolute terror, and the wonderful beds and sofa of the ship seemed to be very far away indeed. The partying nights on The Exotic Island already seemed to be a distant memory.

Gradually, Percival and Bessie were backed into a corner, and the dark, heavy breathing was all around them.

"And, what have we here?", suddenly a voice asked softy, and all the strange creatures suddenly retreated, but not too far. 

Percival and Bessie stumbled into the centre of the  room, and a harsh light was suddenly shining down on them. They paused, blinked, momentarily blinded. 

Suddenly, in the deadly hush, they noticed the huge shape of Drago standing before them. 

Bessie squealed with fear. Percival's heart stopped beating. He realised that this was no Basil at whom he could charge in the church.

He froze.

No one moved.

A minute passed by, and an eternity passed by in that minute.

And then, Drago moved around them. 

He spoke softy, kindly. "You should not wander into places like this", he said. "They are most unsafe. You could get hurt". His voice was soft, kind, and silky. 

Percival and Bessie relaxed, and almost fell as the tension left them. 

Bessie sobbed" We were only seeking shelter from the blinding rain"

"But thank you for saving us", blurted Percival. "I think we should leave now. Thank you again"

"Yes, you should leave", said Drago softly, looking straight and hard at Percival.

Percival blinked, not quite catching the meaning of the words. 

Suddenly there was a bang, and a cloud of smoke arose, burning Percival's eyes.

When the smoke gradually cleared, there was Percival, standing in the centre of the room, surrounded by the strange creatures of The Black Pub, who were likewise stunned. 

But, Drago and Bessie were nowhere to be seen...

Basil, Thyme & A Cloud Of Smoke...

Basil and Thyme landed on The Exotic Island two weeks after Percival and Bessie. Their journey was not quite as comfortable as Percival's. No double poster bed, no nice sofas in the bedroom, no nice deckchairs on which to sit and sip champagne while watching the sun go down.

Instead, they had a hard bed, with rough sheets, absolutely horrible food, a rude crew and a ship full of rowdy passengers. Whenever Basil would pop out some whisky from his private stock, some foul smelling fellow passenger with rotting teeth would sidle up to him and ask, with a wheedling smile, "Give us a drink, will yer, mate?".

This was an almost daily occurence. Slowly, a second passenger would sidle up.

"Give us a drink, will yer mate"

"A little space on this bench then, to rest our bones"

"Hey, yer laddie, you're a fine fella then"

Finally, after an eternity of sitting on a hard bench, with his rear end slowly becoming hardened with pain, Basil finally landed on the shores of The Exotic Island.

They both wandered around fairly aimlessl, after first checking themselves into a rather comfortable hotel. 

Thyme was particularly charmed by the ladies of the Island, and would, on occassion, disappear from sight, leaving Basil fuming with an impotent rage.

 "Ruddy blighter", he would mutter to himself, "can't stay away from the ladies, when there is work to be had". Of course, Basil had, very conveniently forgotten that he had dragged an unwilling Thyme along on this adventure, an adventure that was meant for the sole benefit of one pig - Basil!!! However, Basil was so darn conceited, he thought that Thyme would be honoured by this!!

Several times he thought that he saw Percival and Bessie in the crowds, and he would go dashing off to catch Percival by the scruff of his neck, only to be disappointed. 

He took to drinking a bit in the bars. A little at first, then some more. Finally, he would have to be dragged out of the bar by Thyme, to avoid public scandal.

And then, one evening, the sky burst. The rain came down in torrents. Basil (Thyme was off on his own adventure. No more shall be said!!) wandered around like a pig in a daze, all effects of the alcohol having been washed away by the cleansing rain.

Quite coincidentally, Basil found himself outside the door of The Black Pub. There was a huge commotion going on inside. It sounded as if a war was being raged. Confused sounds emerged from the door, and when Basil finally burst into the room, he froze with shock.

Percival was standing in the room, surrounded by strange creatures of all shapes and sizes. Some had tattoos, some had body piercings. Some had three eyes, some had one. 

In front of Percival, a cloud of smoke emerged from the floor...

Dragor

Dragor was indeed, the owner, and the overlord of The Black Pub.

His body was covered with all sorts of evil tattoos. His eyes did indeed shoot fire. He was big and muscular. Dragor was a mean fighter, and had an extremely evil streak.

To understand how Dragor got this way, it is important to understand his background. Dragor came from a poor family that lived on The Empty Outpost. The Empty Outpost was a small dusty town far off from The Exotic Island, on a different continent, in a country called Wraste. His family had to struggle for their existence. The Empty Outpost was full of bandits and thieves, and life was difficult........

No. All that is not true. That would be a conventional story. Pig from poor town, struggling to survive, learns survival instincts etc etc.

No, while The Empty Outpost in the country called Wraste did exist, this is not where Dragor came from.

Dragor came from one of the more prominent families of The Exotic Island. His childhood was blemishless. It was happy. He was a star student. He was popular. Yes, he was big and this helped him with sports.

Above all, what endeared him to everyone was his extremely sunny disposition, his sense of humour and his gentleness.

After college, one morning, while sitting in a coffee shop and daydreaming about life, he was accosted by a most unusual creature, with three eyes instead of two. This creature, call him Threye, was from another country called Mrod.

Dragor invited him for a cup of coffee, and they talked. Gradually, Dragor fell into the habit of meeting Threye everyday for coffee, and he was completely enthralled by the tales that Threye told him.

One morning, early one morning, when Threye was departing on his next trip, Dragor was waiting for him at the pier.

Dragor disappeared from The Exotic Island without a trace. He was gone for many years. He lived through many adventures ( another tale, another data), and when he returned, he was a changed pig.

His parents did not recognise him, neither did his friends. They refused to let him into their homes and hearts, and Dragor became the first and only homeless pig on The Exotic Island.
Over time, this constant rejection played on his soul, and he began pondering about the unfair nature of life. He became bitter, though his original streak of good humour remained hidden somewhere deep inside.

Luckily, he had enough money saved up from his travels, and one day, in a particularly black mood, he opened The Black Pub.

The Black Pub soon became the haunt of all sorts of evil creatures, all of whom were under the thrall of Dragor's dragon eye.

Dragor himself became a shadowy figure, and whispers about his imagined magical powers slowly grew in the land. 

This is where Percival and Bessie found themselves on that stormy evening on their last day on The Exotic Island...

The Black Pub

Every place has its underbelly, and The Exotic Island was no exception in this regard. However, while most places have several areas that could be called an underbelly, on The Exotic Island, there was only The Black Pub.

The Exotic Island had been quite successful in isolating The Black Pub from most popular places, so that most people did not even know of its existence. Almost 70% of the residents of The Exotic Island, and 99% of the visitors to The Exotic Island were blissfully unaware that such a place existed. This is a tribute to the officials of The Island, I am sure. However, for those unwary souls who wandered into The Black Pub, life changed forever. No one exactly knew what went on inside, but even those who did know of its existence, stayed away. 

The Black Pub was allowed to flourish in anonymity, and the goings on inside gradually became more twisted. I hesitate to use the term "perverse". Let us be happy with the term "twisted".

There was the occassional whisper, in the select societies of The Exotic Island, about what possibly went on inside. Some people spoke of tales of magic. Some people were more prosaic. They believed that it was the den of smugglers, evil folk, peddlers, pirates, and all sorts of unsavoury people. 

Tales of magic slowly outgrew the more prosaic stories of smuggling and drinking. Magic, after all, is more romantic than the ordinary world in which we all live. The Black Pub was home to all sorts of different creatures, not just depraved pigs. This added to the mystique of The Pub.

The one thing that everyone agreed upon, was that The Pub was run by one very powerful individual. His nickname, was Dragor. Everyone believed that his eyes were as fierce as a Dragon's eye, with deathly fire that emerged from his deadly glare...

The Gathering Storm

Percival and Bessie arrived at The Exotic Island on a bright, Sunday morning. The ship had docked for a few weeks, enough time for all the passengers to get off, and enjoy the sights and sounds of The Exotic Island.

There was one feature about The Exotic Island that made it unique. The weather was always beautiful. It never rained. The sun shone through the year. The breeze was alternatively cool and warm.

The Pigs on The Exotic Island has learned to condense water from the atmosphere, so although it never rained, they were never short of water.

They grew exotic plants and vegetables, cooked in the most delightful manner. The Island was full of shops, restaurants, coffee bars, pubs, theater and dance halls.

Percival and Bessie were staying in the most expensive 7-star hotel on The Island.

The pigs on The Island all wore light summer clothing. Very light, and very bright. The lady pigs had a light yellow down. The faces of the lady pigs were brushed light pink, and the faces of the gentlemen pigs were brushed light blue. Likewise, their toe nails were painted bright pink, and bright blue. The lady pigs had rings in their noses, and the gentlemen pigs had rings in their ears.

The lady pigs were altogether most beautiful, and there was many a time when Percival would get a swift kick on his rump from Bessie for allowing his eye to stray away from the straight and the narrow.

Their days were days of joy and frolic. They awoke late, breakfasted with leisure, drank coffee, had a late, heavy lunch, had a siesta, went for dinner, to a pub, to a show, and would normally end their days(nights, really), dancing!!

Bliss was theirs. Bliss, thy name is Percival!! Oh, Divine Joy!! Oh, Divine Giver of Love!! Their gift was given without measure. And, Percival could not imagine any other life.

At last, however, the last day of the stay on The Exotic Island arrived. Percival and Bessie went for dinner. And, as they left, they noticed that the wind had changed. It had become chilly. The wind blew fast, and the streets were full of pigs clutching themselves with cold.

This had never before happened, and Percival and Bessie started for their hotel to get some warm clothes. They then noticed some other pigs looking up at the sky, and then, on looking up, saw dark storm clouds gathering. Percival gaped like a fool that he could be.

And suddenly, the sky broke. The rain lashed the streets with a fury never known, never imagined. The roads were full of panic, and Percival and Bessie ran into the first door they could find.

This was a pub. They entered, and begged the bar-pig to turn the cooling off. After gulping down a warm brandy, they looked around. They were astonished to see that they were in a pub that was dark. The lights were dim, and the pigs in the pub did not look quite so exotic, quite so friendly....